Secure Your Life Rights!


 * align="center"|
 * LISTEN UP, EVERYBODY! I just want to warn you -- I'm in a ROTTEN MOOD!
 * align="center"|
 * Why, you ask? I'll tell ya why... Word around the agora is that some talentless HACK of a playwright just identity theft-ed me!
 * align="center"|
 * Thinks he can write a story where he pins MY name on some D-list human patsy...
 * align="center"|
 * ... And all THAT "Philoctetes" does is get a foot injury that smells so disgusting his friends desert him on an island!
 * align="center"|
 * So... when I say I'm gonna find whoever this playwright is and head-butt him into next week, I mean it.
 * }
 * ... And all THAT "Philoctetes" does is get a foot injury that smells so disgusting his friends desert him on an island!
 * align="center"|
 * So... when I say I'm gonna find whoever this playwright is and head-butt him into next week, I mean it.
 * }
 * }

Level 1 "Find the Hater!"
 * align="center"|
 * align="center"|
 * Send Phil to find the hater!
 * 4h
 * 5, 50
 * }


 * align="center"|
 * ... Okay. So, APPARENTLY, this "Sophocles" guy is so famous he can character-assassinate whoever he WANTS.
 * align="center"|
 * And I say that AFTER getting thrown out of a taverna, 'cause SOMEONE took offense at me trying to flip Sophocles' table over.
 * align="center"|
 * Lousy tragedians... Don't even get me started on that Euripedes and his "Electra"! Trust me, it's a downer-palooza.
 * align="center"|
 * I can't afford to get hung up on this, though... I just heard some OTHER guy is saying a centaur named Chiron trained Achilles!
 * align="center"|
 * Whoever this Hesiod character is, I'm writing him a cease-and-desist scroll RIGHT NOW.
 * }
 * I can't afford to get hung up on this, though... I just heard some OTHER guy is saying a centaur named Chiron trained Achilles!
 * align="center"|
 * Whoever this Hesiod character is, I'm writing him a cease-and-desist scroll RIGHT NOW.
 * }
 * }